Back on the site, hornier than ever & still in need of supersizing...
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Posted:Jul 30, 2012 5:30 pm
Last Updated:Jul 27, 2014 5:10 pm
3656 Views
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It is more than 4 years since I joined this site and unbelievably, I am still waiting to fulfill my naughty little fantasy. Hubby and I have met up with a few promising sounding guys in that time, but in the end, it never seems to work out.
The closest we came to taking things further was with a solicitor from London, who was charming, good-looking and took us out for a really expensive meal (I had truffle mushrooms  ). Unfortunately, when we made it back home and he got undressed, it turned out he had lied about the size of his manhood... big time  (either that or he had got his inches and centimetres mixed up). Admittedly, he was bigger than my hubby, but nowhere near what I wanted. I felt bad in a way, because he was such a nice guy, but as the whole point of meeting him was to be supersized, I had to call it off.
Other guys we've met have been crude or skanky or just plain unpleasant, and each time it doesn't work out, we end up back where we started. Which is how after 4 years, we haven't really moved on. On second thoughts, it isn't fair to blame the guys entirely. I think somewhere inside me I am afraid of what might happen when I take the final step. Once I've experienced a monster cock, will my sex life with my hubby fizzle out? More importantly, will it be the kiss of death for an otherwise wonderful relationship? I thought I knew the answers to these questions when I signed up for this site, but now I'm not so sure.
One thing I do know is that I'm deeply frustrated  . Hubby has got me a big silicon vibe, which we play with sometimes, but the more I have it inside me, the more I find myself resenting his tiny willy. The sad thing is, seeing my pussy stretched wide by the vibe makes him so horny, that he often takes it out and tries to make love to me. He thrusts and grinds like a wild animal, but there's zero friction... I don't feel a thing. He might as well be trying to get me off with a grain of rice. Not only that, but his self control is still as bad as ever. Often, we don't even make it to the sex stage, because he shoots his load just from being stroked. It's a good thing I love him so much or I'd have lost patience with him by now.
But enough about my marital problems. Let me bring you up to speed with the rest of my life. It won't take very long, as nothing much has changed. I still work as a nurse at the local hospital, I still have a weakness for shopping and I still love animals (though sadly, one of my dogs has now passed away).
One thing that is different is that I'm starting to be more aware of my age. The other day I noticed what looked to be a white pubic hair while I was having a shower. Needless to say, I plucked it out and flushed it down the toilet as quickly as possible. Is this a sign of things to come? My body still doesn't look a whole lot different than it did when I was a , but my face is starting to show a few faint lines that could eventually turn into wrinkles! Old age scares me more than anything else, perhaps because I work with old people at the hospital and have seen what it can do. I'm doing what I can to fight back - a rigorous skincare regime, daily workouts with Cindy Crawford (on DVD, not in person), a healthy diet - but eventually, it's going to catch up with me. I just hope my hubby will still love me what it happens.
And on that cheerful note, I am going to sign off. I will try not to leave it so long before I post something else this time. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Mwah mwah (kissing noises). 
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I was soooooo wet.
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Posted:May 24, 2008 5:28 pm
Last Updated:Aug 5, 2012 5:09 pm
4159 Views
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My apologies to anyone reading this purely for the attention-grabbing title. I'm afraid you're probably going to be disappointed by the subject. It's about getting wet in the rain.
Today started out warm and dry, so I decided to walk to work. Bad idea! By the time I finished my shift at 9pm, it was raining cats and dogs, which made the walk home pretty miserable. It still wasn't cold, but I did end up getting soaking wet. It's my own fault I supppose. I forgot the golden rule of living in England - never leave home without your umbrella. I could have got a cab I suppose, but I don't really live far enough away from the hospital to warrant it.
Apart from that I had a pretty good day, although there was a further unfortunate development in the Kate saga. Apparently, she has spoken to the powers that be about withdrawing her resignation and has been told that she in no longer needed. The explanation they gave her is that they are restructuring and her former job is no longer going to exist, but I suspect the real reason is that they feel she causes bad blood (which, as I've said before, simply isn't true). Personally, I think she's mad wanting to work there anyway, considering how much hostility she's up against, but I think it's a case of better the devil you know. Don't get me wrong - the place won't be the same without her, but moving to a new job is definitely in her best interests.
Sorry again for bringing you to this blog entry under false pretenses. The title suggests a riveting read about sexual arousal and all I've given you is a brief glimpse into my mundane little life. If it's any consolation, one mildly titillaing thing I can tell you is that when I got home, I stripped off my wet clothes and spent the rest of the evening parading around in my underwear (a pretty black lace thong and bra). It's not exactly up there with 'Lady Chatterley's Lover' in the erotica department, but I hope it's not an entirely distasteful image. Just don't ask me to describe the dishevelled state of my hair - I don't want to spoil things.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend everyone. Mwah... Mwah...
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A bad day.
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Posted:May 17, 2008 5:28 pm
Last Updated:Feb 14, 2009 6:56 pm
4174 Views
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Someone bashed into my car today. I left it in the hospital car-park while I was at work and when I came back there was a dent in one of the doors. The damage only looks to be minor, but it's still irritating  . Besides, minor or not, I'm sure I'll be charged through the nose to get it fixed. I could leave it as it is, I suppose, but I don't like the idea of driving around in a dented car. Which leaves two choices - I can either pay for the repairs myself (with a little help from hubby, of course) or make a claim on my insurance, which will mean losing my no claims bonus. Either way, its a hassle I could do without, but that's just life I suppose. These things happen and there's no point moaning about them.
Come to think of it, my shift wasn't much fun either (actually, it's never fun, but today it was even worse than normal). I was on duty for 12 hours with a couple of chronically lazy colleagues, and ended up doing way more than my fair share of work. Our movements are carefully documented, so the powers that be always know exactly who has done what, but I've noticed that there never seems to be any comeback for slacking. I'm not saying the culprits should be publically flogged or anything, but a stern talking to wouldn't go amiss. Otherwise, those of us that do pull our weight could easily end up getting resentful. Grrrrrrrrrrrr (that was me venting my frustration, by the way).
Still, no matter how bad a day I've had, there's always my loving hubby and my sweet little dogs to come home to. Once we're curled up on the sofa together, things like work and dented cars suddenly seem very trivial. It sounds corny to say, but I think things like family and love are way more important in this life than anything else.
Just talking about it makes me want to toddle off to bed and snuggle up to my hubby beneath the covers, so I'm afraid that's exactly what I'm going to do. I'll be back for another entry soon. Goodnight to you all .
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A little bit of nostalgia.
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Posted:May 14, 2008 5:37 pm
Last Updated:Feb 14, 2009 6:56 pm
4283 Views
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I went through my old 80s cassette tapes after work today. I was supposed to be bagging some of them up to take to a charity shop, but in the end, I couldn't bring myself to part with them. It probably sounds kind of stupid, but they reminded me of my childhood too much.
My tastes as a little girl in the 80s were pretty varied, but I was especially partial to what has come to be known as hair metal (bands like Whitesnake, Vixen, Bon Jovi, Van Halen, Def Leppard, Poison and Skid Row). Looking back on it now, it's hard to believe, but I can distinctly remember prancing about my bedroom in a floaty white dress pretending I was Tawny Kitaen in the video for Whitesnake's 'Here I Go Again'. I didn't give much thought to the future in those days, but when I did, I saw myself marrying some gorgeous musician (preferably one of the ones featured in the many posters on my walls) and living out the rest of my life as a rock princess in a picturesque castle.
Needless to say, things didn't turn out that way, but at least I still have the music. I'll probably never get around to listening to a lot of these old tapes again, but I'll be hanging onto them for the time being, purely for the nostalgia value.
I'm glad the 80s are over (some of the things I used to wear make me cringe even now  ), but I do kind of miss them. Does anyone else have any views on the subject?
Hugz,
D.
P.S. Sorry if I sound a little like the woman in the Bowling For Soup song '1985'.
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When sunburn leads to anal sex...
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Posted:May 11, 2008 7:19 pm
Last Updated:Jul 30, 2012 4:23 pm
4398 Views
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I got a teensy bit sunburnt today . Not that I'm complaining - it was my own fault. If you're going to spend the day lying in the sun in only your bikini, then you have to be prepared to face the consequences. I was just so absorbed in the book I was reading ('The Blind Assassin' by Margaret Atwood) that I lost track of time.
If any of you have read any of Margaret Atwood's stuff, you'll know where I'm coming from with this - once you start reading one of her books it's hard to put it down. 'The Blind Assassin' is about two sisters, one of whom dies in strange circumstances within the first few pages. What I like about the story is that you're never quite sure what the real truth is. The book won a bunch of awards when it was released, and as far as I'm concerned, it deserved every one.
Anyway, back to my sunburn (this is my blog after all - if you want to read about Margaret Atwood, visit her blog, which is probably somewhere outside the world of LesbianPersonals). Absorbed or not, if it had just been a case of reading my book, I wouldn't have stayed out long enough to turn red. Unfortunately, the sun felt so good beating down on my skinny little body that I ended up falling asleep  . I'm just glad I put some high factor sun cream on before I went out or it could have been worse.
Every cloud has a silver lining, though, and this time it took the form of a sensuous massage from my hubby. Armed with only a bottle of aloe vera he bravely went to work on my hot shoulders and back, soothing away the discomfort like some kind of magician. I can't tell you how good it felt to have his cool fingers gliding over my skin. Was it any wonder, then, that after a while, I rolled onto my back and guided his hand to my crotch. He carressed it gently, and before I knew it, we were making love.
Unfortunately, this part was a bit of a let down, and not just for me this time. The build up had got me so wet that not only could I not feel him, but he was getting little stimulation from me. This seems to be one of the many drawbacks of having such a small cock - he sometimes finds that my pussy doesn't grip him tightly enough to make him cum. We tried our favourite position, which involves me squatting over him and bouncing on his lap, but even that didn't work.
In the end, I got tired of waiting for an orgasm, so I decided to bring things to a swift conclusion. Climbing off him, I stroked his cheek and knelt in front of him, offering up my rear. It wasn't the first time I had done this, so he knew exactly what to do. Rubbing his cock between my legs to lubricate it, he pushed himself slowly into my asshole. A few seconds later, he shot his load. It didn't do much for me, but at least one of us got a little satisfaction.
I hope nobody thinks less of me for not being averse to a little anal sex. Even in today's liberal-minded world, I know the thought of it still makes some people uncomfortable. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with it (as long as both partners are consenting). Having said that, I personally only let my hubby go there because he's so tiny and there's no pain involved (you see - even having a small cock can have its advantages).
Anyway, I'm sure you all have better things to do than listen to me natter on all night about my sex-life. Coming full circle, let me finish with a couple of sunburn jokes. Enjoy...
A man was on holiday in the Caribbean and, liking the continual good weather, settled down for a day's sunbathing. He fell asleep (like someone else I could mention) and after a whole day his legs were sunburnt beyond belief and he could hardly stand for the pain.
So he goes along to the doctor for treatment.
The doctor looks at the man's sunburnt legs and says, "well, you realize that this is only a small village doctor's surgery and, in reality, I've really got nothing at all to help you."
He then gives the man one tablet of Viagra: "However, try this", he adds.
So the man says "but I've got acute sunburn what's a Viagra tablet going to do?"
The doctor says, "basically, nothing at all for the sunburn but it will help keep the sheets off of your legs tonight."
Joan, who was a rather well-proportioned secretary, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan.
She'd hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear. "Excuse me, miss," said the flustered assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. "The Hilton doesn't mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday."
"What difference does it make?" Joan asked rather calmly. "No one can see me up here, and besides, I'm covered with a towel."
"Not exactly," said the embarrassed man. "You're lying on the dining room skylight."
Bye for now .
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The departure of a friend & a surprisingly good movie.
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Posted:May 7, 2008 5:05 pm
Last Updated:Jul 29, 2012 5:10 pm
4195 Views
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I was on duty with my friend Kate today. I like working with her because unlike some of the other nurses, she really pulls her weight. Unfortunately, she has handed in her notice and will be leaving at the end of the month. She says it's because she's been offered a better paid job, but I suspect it may have something to do with how unfriendly some of our colleagues are to her. As I think I mentioned in an earlier blog entry, they resent her because she has been promoted to a senior position and is so much younger than them. It makes me sick how two-faced they can be . They all told her she should go for the new job because of the money, when really it was because they couldn't wait to see the back of her. I'll really miss her, but in all honesty, I think she'll be happier in her new job. Hopefully another job will come up in the same place, so I can go off and join her, but in the meantime I'm stuck with my catty colleagues. Thankfully, they don't seem to mind me, as I don't "boss them around" (as they would put it).
When I got home from work, hubby and I watched 300 (the movie) together. I have to admit that I was fully prepared to be bored out of my mind, but it wasn't half as bad as I was expecting. For one thing, the majority of the scenes were filled with fit men parading around in very little clothing. Everywhere you looked there was a new set of rippling muscles, and what women in her right mind doesn't find that sort of thing appealing? It's just a pity they spent so much time hacking each other to pieces.
The other thing I liked about the film was the portrayal of Queen Gorgo. Normally, women in these kind of movies are just there as window dressing, but Queen Gorgo was a strong character, who went on an emotional journey and had some really good lines. I'd still rather have watched 'Becoming Jane' or perhaps something with Johnny Depp (who I fancy the pants off by the way  ), but in future, I'll be keeping a more open mind.
Oh well, I guess I'd better sign off now, as I have a terrible cold and I need sleep. Tomorrow I'm working a 10 hour shift and the day after a 12 hour one, so it maybe a little while before my next post. I should have time to pop by and check for comments, though (in case anyone wants to leave any). Sloppy kisses to anyone who has taken the time to read all this (mwah, mwah).
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Yucky smells & hairy pussies.
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Posted:May 5, 2008 7:29 pm
Last Updated:Jul 30, 2012 3:49 pm
6025 Views
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After singing the praises of my dogs in so many previous posts, I'm sorry to say that the eldest one (Sonny) shamed himself today. It was a sunny day, so I had decided to take them for a walk in a pretty little country park after work. We'd been in the park for a couple of hours when we came to a narrow path that we hadn't been along before. On a whim, I decided to see where it went and we found ourselves at a dilapidated old building, which I thought would make a good subject for a few photos. I was just getting my camera out of my handbag, when I spotted Sonny trotting through the door of the building. Thinking he might be up to mischief, I went after him, and sure enough, he was in the process of rolling in... actually, I'm not quite sure what it was, but it reeked to high heaven. I yelled at him to come away  . Then, I clipped on his lead and dragged him to the loos, where I threw several bottles of water over him and did my best to clean him off with some toilet-paper. Believe me when I say, it was absolutely revolting  amp; (and bear in mind, I'm a nurse who is used to unpleasant tasks).
I know that rolling in yucky things is a throwback to the days when dogs needed to mask their scent from their prey, but I really wish they wouldn't do it. Sonny is lucky I love him so much , or he would have found himself running home instead of riding in the car. Needless to say I gave him a bath as soon as we got in (and as usual, ended up almost as wet as he was by the end of it), but even now the horrible stench isn't completely gone.
It's just lucky the incident happened as we were coming towards the end of the walk and not at the beginning, or I might have been tempted to call the whole thing off. As it was, we had a nice long ramble through the woods and I even managed to do a little sunbathing (I'd put a bikini on under my clothes to allow me to do this). I know sunbathing is a little out of fashion at the moment, because of the health risks, but there are times when I can't resist it, despite the fact that my tan usually ends up looking patchy. Not to mention the pubic hair issue. As you can see from the picture on my profile, I'm a girl who goes for the au naturale look when it comes to my private parts. For me, the alternatives are just too much hassle. Also, I've never understood the attraction of looking pre-pubescent. I already get mistaken for a , and a hairless pussy would only make things worse.
Unfortunately, if you're going to wear bikinis, you can't get really away with doing nothing at at all, so I tend to just trim the hair at the edges. I've tried other methods in the past, but I'm not keen on them. I always end up getting rid of too much when I use depilatory creams and shaving makes me itchy (I'm even more likely to be mistaken for a pubescent if I'm scratching all the time).
Today, knowing I'd be doing some sunbathing, I'd taken just enough off to remove any danger of renegade hairs slipping out. While I was doing it, I found myself wondering where the current obssession with being hairless came from. I know why some women do it (for increased sensation, because it's fashionable, etc.), but it seems strange that it should have become the norm, as it's not the way we naturally look. Back in the seventies and eighties, glamour models and actresses in adult films all had thick bushes. Now, they're usually smooth. I suppose it's yet another example of the media's attempt to create an ideal of beauty that we're all supposed to aspire to. The odd thing is this part of the ideal was probably inspired by women in classical paintings, and really these women were only portrayed without pubic hair to prevent the paintings being labelled as pornography - or so I've read.
I guess like so many fashions, we'll never know exactly how this one came about. All I can say is I'm hairy down there and proud of it. I love the feel of my hubby caressing my little brown curls and I'm not going to get rid of them just because it's the done thing. What does anyone else think? Do you prefer things au naturale or is bald better?
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Funny quotes about dogs.
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Posted:Apr 29, 2008 7:05 pm
Last Updated:Feb 14, 2009 6:51 pm
4326 Views
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I was going to talk about my day, but I've just realised how late it is, so I'm going to stick to some jokes instead. Don't worry, you're not missing much - the most exciting thing I did was pop into the bank with my hubby to see about getting a mortgage for our possibe move (not the easiest thing to do at the moment, as I'm sure you've all noticed). Anyway, here are the jokes, or as I rightly called them in the title of this post, the funny quotes about dogs...
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window!
-- Steve Bluestone
Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
--Lewis Grizzard
The other day I saw two dogs walk over to a parking meter. One of them says to the other, "How do you like that? Pay toilets!"
--Dave Starr
They say the is man's best friend. I don't believe that. How many of your friends have you neutered?
--Larry Reeb
I went to an exclusive kennel club. It was very exclusive. There was a sign out front: "No Dogs Allowed."
--Phil Foster
He that lieth down with dogs, shall rise up with fleas.
--Ben Franklin
I have a great dog. She's half Lab, half pit bull. A good combination. Sure, she might bite off my leg, but she'll bring it back to me.
--Jimi Celeste
Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs.
--Martha Scott
When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later.
--Erma Bombeck
They have food for constipated dogs. If your is constipated, why screw up a good thing? Stay indoors and let 'em bloat!
--David Letterman
You never realize a is a man’s best friend until you start betting on horses.
A guy wanted the vet to cut his dog’s tail off. The vet asked why. Well, my mother in law is visiting next month and I want to eliminate any possible indication that she is welcome.
A door is what a is perpetually on the wrong side of.
--Ogden Nash
Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book; inside of a dog, it is very dark.
--Groucho Marx.
Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend.
--Corey Ford, American writer
What kind of life a dog... acquires, I have sometimes tried to imagine by kneeling or lying full length on the ground and looking up. The world then becomes strangely incomplete: one sees little but legs.
--E.V. Lucas, English writer
They never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation.
--Jerome K. Jerome, English humorist
Hope some of those brought a smile to your face. They definitely brought one to mine  , but then I'm a lover and maybe that makes a difference. I can't really understand anoyone who doesn't like to be dogs, to be honest (unless you're allergic to them or something, in which case you have a legitimate reason). They give you so much joy and their love is unconditional. I adore my two and wouldn't part with them for anything. And on that note... goodnight . xxxx
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The beauty of swinging.
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Posted:Apr 28, 2008 6:45 pm
Last Updated:Jul 30, 2012 4:19 pm
4426 Views
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I took my dogs for a walk in a local park after work today. I was in a thoughtful mood  , so I wasn't really paying much attention to where I was going and ended up wandering into the 's play area. Normally, there would have been a few playing there, but today it was deserted.
Still feeling thoughtful, I sat down on one of the swings and started swinging backwards and forwards. It's weird, but for some reason it gave me a great deal of pleasure. The dogs weren't sure what to make of it, though. One just sat watching me with a bemused expression on its face, while the other kept chasing me backwards and forwards (narrowly avoding being kicked in the face on a couple of occasions).
I probably stayed there on that swing for about half an hour, thinking about money, my marriage, my hubby's recent request for me to try using a strap-on on him (see earlier post) and life in general. The only news on the strap-on front, by the way, is that I have pretty much decided to go ahead with it if its what he wants and have now started to shop around for the necessary bits and pieces.
Somehow swinging backwards and forwards really helped me put things in perspective. My marriage leaves a little to be desired on the sexual front, perhaps, but other than that I am incredibly blessed. So many people end up stuck with someone who is abusive to them or who they fall out of love with, but not me. I have found a wonderful man, who I love now as much as the first day we met. As for money, we don't have as much as we would like, but few people do. We're comfortably off and that's all anyone could really ask - which is not to say I'm going to stop buying lottery tickets anytime soon (it could be me).
I thought about work while I was on the swing as well. None of my colleagues have really mentioned the recent leaving do (when so much time was spent slating my friend Kate). I like to think its because they're ashamed of their behaviour, but somehow I doubt it. That's the thing about working with the same people day in, day out in a closed environment like a hospital; petty bickering is almost inevitable. Anyway for all their silence on the subject, one of our elderly patients has still managed to find out about it, because she asked me today why she wasn't invited. I felt like saying - "Well duh, why do you think you weren't invited? The idea was to forget about you bloody people" - but I resisted the temptation.
I guess that the movement of the swing put me into a bit of dream world, as I failed to notice two teenage boys come into the play area and sit down on the ground in front of me. It gave me quite a fright when I heard one of them wolf-whistle. Then it occurred to me how short my skirt was and what an eyeful they must be getting from where they were sitting. I stopped swinging pretty quickly then, and gave them a piece of my mind, before walking away with my dogs at a very brisk pace, blushing furiously .
As you can see from the picture I'm attaching to this entry, it's not the first time this has happened to someone, so if there any women out there, learn from our mistakes - swinging and short skirts don't go well together. The only good thing was that I was wearing one of my new thongs and not some old pair of period knickers. I might be an inadvertant flasher, but at least I can be proud of what I was flashing. Next time I go to the 's play area to think, I'll wear trousers or try the roundabout .
Well I guess that's all I want to say about swinging (and there you were thinking I was going to talk about the other kind  ). Bye for now . xxx
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About my underwear...
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Posted:Apr 27, 2008 8:01 pm
Last Updated:Feb 14, 2009 6:48 pm
5021 Views
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It never ceases to amaze me how catty some women can be. Take last night for instance. I went to a leaving-do with my predominantly female work colleagues and they spent pretty much the entire time slagging off my friend Kate (who didn't go). I'm not sure why they have it in for her so much. Probably it's something to do with the fact that she's their superior and has the cheek to tell them off when they do things wrong (sarcasm overload). Personally I found their behaviour really ugly and ended up saying "Boring, boring, boring" in a loud sing-song voice. They did change the subject after that... for a little while.
There was only one other person who didn't join in with the bitching and that was the lone male. I'd have ideally liked to engage him in conversation, so I wouldn't have to listen the rest of them, but unfortunately, he was sitting too far away from me. Next time, I'll think twice before going on one of these outings, as it really wasn't much fun. My overall verdict? Good food, lousy company.
On the bright side, I told my hubby about it and he took me shopping today to cheer me up. There was a sale on at La Senza, so I ended up buying a whole bunch of new knickers - mostly thongs, but a few pairs of briefs as well. I'm the kind of girl who likes to own as many different kinds of knickers as possible (apart from giant granny pants), but my favourites are the skimpy ones, partly because I'm so petite that they tend to fit me better and partly because they make me feel sexier. So variety is good (it means you have something for any occasion). I do like to co-ordinate, though, so when I'm buying new pairs of knickers, I have to give a little thought to whether I have any bras to match. That isn't a problem if I'm buying a matching set, of course, and today's shopping included one of those as well. It consists of a lace trimmed thong and balconette bra in black and lemon silk, both decorated with pretty little ribbons.
I am very pleased with these purchases. I just wish I knew whether my hubby likes them. I did try asking him for some feedback, but all I got was a noncommittal grunt (what I was hoping for was - "Those look great. I can't wait for you to give me a private fashion show.") Sometimes I wonder if he pays any attention to my underwear at all. He certainly never comments on it. I wouldn't mind, but sometimes (especially when I'm feeling frisky) I spend ages picking out the perfect combo .
Anyway, that pretty much fills you in on my weekend. I just wish it hadn't come to an end so quickly, but then it always does. Hugz to anyone who drops by to read this .
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I will survive!
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Posted:Apr 23, 2008 12:20 pm
Last Updated:Feb 14, 2009 6:48 pm
4411 Views
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I'm sure you're all familiar with Gloria Gaynor's song I Will Survive. Well, here are some alternative lyrics, which struck me as both funny and scaringly appropriate to my own situation...
I WILL SURVIVE (ALT. LYRICS)
At first I was afraid, I was petrified,
When you said you had 10 inches, oh God I almost died.
But I'd spent so many years waiting for a man that long,
That I grew strong, and knew I had to take you on...
But there you are, another lie,
I was ready for a big mac and you're sporting a french fry.
I should have known it was all bull, just a sad pathetic dream,
Known there was no anaconda lurking in your jeans.
Go on now go, walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches, then turn up with only 4.
Weren't you a fool to think I wouldn't catch you out.
We're really only joking when we say size doesn't count.
(Chorus)
I wanna cry, but I'll survive,
For as long as I have batteries,
My sex life's gonna thrive.
I will always have good sex
With vibrating latex,
I'll survive, I will survive.
It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your tiny willy standing tall and proud.
But to hell with your big ego and with all your stupid needs,
'Cos I think I'm gonna stick to my cordless multi-speed.
Go on now go, just make a dash,
With a prick that bloody small I hope you never start to flash.
I should have asked you for some proof, should have asked for referees,
Then I wouldn't have you waving that dinky thing at me.
Go on now go, just hit the track,
Won't put up with no more tiddlers; yes, I'll always throw them back.
The only thing that I could do with a cock as small as yours,
Is stick it with a toothpick and then dip it in some sauce.
(Chorus)
Go on now go, get out of my sight,
I'm going back to my appliance
'Cos I know the length is right.
And if I ever see your willy poking through my door,
You'll be counting up your inches as you pick them off the floor.
Go on now - Go!
I don't know who's responsible for these lyrics, but they've done a really good job. I tried reading the words with the song playing in the background and they fit almost perfectly. Check for yourselves.
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How I lost my virginity.
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Posted:Apr 22, 2008 7:06 pm
Last Updated:Jul 30, 2012 4:17 pm
4514 Views
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I have just finished recounting the story of how I lost my virginity in response to a question on net_girl_2000's blog and thought I would post my answer again here for anyone who is interested...
It happened to me when I was 17 and on the rebound from a recent break-up. Although my ex and I had only been together for 6 months, I truly believed we would be spending the rest of our lives together and was devastated when he finished with me. I'd also believed he would be the one to take my virginity, but again, this wasn't to be, although we did pretty much everything else (including a little mutual masturbation and oral sex).
As I said, I didn't take the break-up well. In fact, I spent the next couple of days crying  . Then, because I was having a few self-esteem issues, I threw myself at the first guy who showed any interest in me. He was very good-looking, but a bit of sleaze-bag with an unhealthy obsession with Jim Morrison. Anyway to cut a long story short, I let him pop my cherry (even though he was wearing ridiculous pink briefs and cowboy boots at the time). It was not a good experience, as he was only concerend about pleasing himself. He was clumsy, rough and lasted about 5 minutes.
We did it again a couple of days later, but it wasn't much better (in hindsight I can see that he just wasn't a very good lover). I had also begun to realise how little we had in common, so after just two weeks of dating, I came to my senses and kicked him to the kerb.
So there you have it, the start of a journey that has brought me here in search of a supersize experience. Let me know if you found it interesting. Luv & hugs .
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All the fun of the fair.
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Posted:Apr 21, 2008 5:28 pm
Last Updated:Apr 28, 2008 7:06 pm
4322 Views
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A funfair started setting up in my local park today. It's not actually going to be open until Thursday, but already I can feel myself itching to go. I don't know why, but I love fun fairs - the flashing lights, the excitement, the happy smiling faces . I know they can be a bit of a rip-off, but is there anything more romantic than riding the big-wheel or the tunnel of love with your beau.
I suppose the main reason I like them so much is that I met my hubby at one. There I was sitting on the steps of the dodgems with a couple of friends, when he came over and started talking to us. Little did I know that we would end up married. Especially as he started out dating one of my friends (Ellie). Luckily for me, it didn't work out between them, though they both gave different stories as to why. He said it was because there was a personality clash, whereas she said it was because he had a small penis and was bad in bed (this was before I started going out with him, when she was full of jokes about it - now she refuses to discuss the subject). I thought she was just being bitter, but I found out later she was telling the truth. Would I have thought twice about going out with him if I'd believed her? Not on your life - he was the most gorgeous guy I'd ever seen and he was (and still is) great fun to be with .
The next time my hubby and I went to a fun-fair was about a year later, when we indulged in a little naughtiness on the ghost-train  . It was just a little mutual masturbation - there wasn't time for anything else - but it still brought a dreamy smile to my face (and left me with gooey fingers). Perhaps we'll try something similar this time around. The very thought of it makes me horny. I know my hubby is underendowed, but he can still seriously turn me on.
And on that note, I'm off to listen to 'Tunnel of Love' by Dire Straits, which always pops into my head when I think of fairgrounds. I may even let my hands do some wandering over my own tunnel of love. Sayonara .
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To link to this blog (rm_Supersize_Me) use [blog rm_Supersize_Me] in your messages.
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